There should be no fear of death, for the death of the body is but a gentle passing to a much freer life – Helen Greaves

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst – Aristotle

What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet - Shakespeare

லக்‌ஷ்மி - குறும்படம்

Nov 9, 2017


ஹாய்.. ரொம்ப நாளா ப்ளாக் பக்கம் வரவேயில்லை. உங்களைச் சொன்னேன் 😉 நான் அடிக்கடி வருவேன்; வந்து நான் எழுதுனதை எல்லாம் நானே படிச்சு சிலாகிச்சிட்டு (ஹிஹீ) ஓடியே போயிருவேன் :D நிறைய தடவை எழுதணும்னு தோனுனாலும் மிஸ் ஆகிடும். இப்போ என்ன சொல்ல வந்தேன்னா, சர்ஜுன் என்பவரின் இயக்கத்துல வெளிவந்திருக்கிற “லக்‌ஷ்மி” குறும்படம் பார்த்தேன்.


கடந்த ஒரு வாரத்திற்கும் மேலாக, சமூக ஊடகங்களில் பரபரப்பை ஏற்படுத்தி வரும் குறும்படம் ‘லக்‌ஷ்மி’. மணமாகி, ஒரு பிள்ளைக்குத் தாயாக இருக்கும், சிறிய அச்சகம் ஒன்றில் பணிபுரியும், லக்‌ஷ்மி, ஒரு சராசரி பெண். கணவனையும் குழந்தையையும் கவனித்துக் கொள்ளவும், சோறாக்கிப் போடவும், பொருளாதாரத்தில் கணவனுக்கு உதவவும் மட்டுமே அறிந்திருக்கும், தனக்கென ஒரு சிறிய பொழுதுபோக்கைப் பற்றிக் கூட யோசித்திராத, யோசிக்க நேரமில்லாத அவள், ஒரு கட்டத்தில் மனரீதியாகவும் உடல்ரீதியாகவும் நிறைவற்று, வெறுமையாக உணருகிறாள். இப்படியாகக் கருப்பு வெள்ளையில் கலையின்றிச் செல்லும் அவளது வாழ்வில், ஒரு colorful திருப்பமாக, புதிதாக இரயிலில் சந்திக்கும் ஒருவனுடன் பல தயக்கங்களுக்குப் பின் அவள் அறிமுகமாகிறாள். அவன் ஒரு சிற்பி. அவளையும் அவளது இருப்பையும் ‘உணர்ந்து’ அவளை ‘feel good’ ஆக உணர வைக்கிறான் அவன்.

ஒரு கட்டத்தில், தன் கணவனின் மீது அவள் கொஞ்சம் கொஞ்சமாக சேர்த்து வைத்திருக்கும் வெறுப்பும், நண்பனின் நெகிழ வைக்கும் செயல்களும் ஒன்றாகக் குறுக்கிட, துணிந்து நண்பனுடன் ஓரிரவைக் கழிக்கிறாள் அனுபவிக்கிறாள் அவள். அவளது அந்த நட்பு தொடர்கிறது.. அந்த நட்பு அத்துடன் முடிகிறது.

இது தான் கதை. இடையே பாரதியாரின், அமிழ்ந்து பேரிருளாம் அறியாமையில் அவலமெய்திக் கலையின்றி வாழ்வதை உமிழ்ந்து தள்ளுதல் பெண்ணறமாகுமாம் உதய கன்னி உரைப்பதைக் கேட்டீரோ என்னும் கவிதை வரியும்,

”மெல்லச் சிரி மௌனத் தாரகையே
வேறொருவனின் வானில் ஒளிர்ந்தது அன்றி
வேறொரு குற்றமும் உன் கணக்கில் சேராது.
கிரகணத்தை நோக்கி நீ ஓடலாம்
ஆனால் மறக்காதே கண்மணியே
நீ மிளிர்ந்த இந்நாளை
மனதில் கொண்டு கும்மியடி”    

என்ற சிவா ஆனந்த் என்பவரின் சிறிய கவிதை வரிகளும் அழகான பின்னணி இசையுடன் வந்து மனதில் பதிகின்றன.

எனக்குத் தெரிந்து இந்த லக்‌ஷ்மி தனியள் அல்ல. அவளைப் போன்று, கணவனும் குழந்தைகளுமே கதியென்று கிடந்து, கடைசிக் காலங்களில் தாம் கடந்து வந்த வறட்சியான வாழ்க்கையை எரிச்சலுடன் திரும்பிப் பார்க்கும், ஏகப்பட்ட complaints இருந்தும் வேறு வழியின்றி மணவாழ்வில் வலுக்கட்டாயமாகக் கட்டுண்டு கிடக்கும், கழிவிரக்கத்துடன் தனது வாழ்வைத் தியாகம் செய்வதாக எண்ணி வாழ்ந்து கொண்டிருக்கும், மணவாழ்வில் இருந்துகொண்டே soulmate தேடிக் கொண்டிருக்கும், அப்படி ஒருவன் கிடைத்தால் கூட பண்பாடு / ஒழுக்கம் / நெறிமுறைகள் போன்றவற்றுக்கு அஞ்சி, மனதாலும் உடலாலும் அவதியுறும் பல தோழிகளை நான் அறிவேன். இவர்களில் பெரும்பாலானோருக்கு, தம் உரிமைகள் மற்றும் கடமைகள் குறித்துத் தெரிவதில்லை என்பதும் உண்மை.

பெண்களின் மனதை ஆண்களால் புரிந்துகொள்ள முடியாது என்பதெல்லாம் humbug. அது ஒரு excuse. புரிதல், விட்டுக்கொடுத்தல், சண்டைகள், சமாதானங்கள் எல்லாம் எல்லா உறவுகளிலும், முக்கியமாக, கணவன்–மனைவி உறவுகளில் இருப்பது இயல்பே. அப்படியிருந்தால் தான் அது ஒரு genuine relationship ஆக இருக்க முடியும். ஆனால் பிரச்சினை என்னவென்றால், இந்தப் புரிதல், விட்டுக்கொடுத்தல், சண்டைகள், சமாதானங்கள் எல்லாம் ஒரு பக்கத்திலிருந்து மட்டுமே நடந்து கொண்டிருப்பது தான்.

பெண்கள் இப்போது அதிகமாக இதை உணர்ந்து வருகிறார்கள். மகிழ்ச்சி தரும் செயல்கள் அனைத்தையும் குற்றவுணர்வுடன் தான் செய்ய வேண்டுமென்பதில்லை என்பதைப் புரிந்திருக்கிறார்கள் 😊 ஆண்களுக்கு இது மிகப்பெரிய அதிர்ச்சியாகத் தான் இருக்கும். தன்னைச் சார்ந்திருக்கும் பெண்களையும், அவர்களது தேவைகளையும் புரிந்துகொண்டு, அவர்களது சேவைகளை உணர்ந்து, தாமும் ஒத்துழைக்க வேண்டும் என்பதையும், உரிமைகள், கடமைகள், பொறுப்புகள் இருபக்கங்களுக்கும் இருக்கின்றன என்பதை உணர்ந்து செயல்படவும் வேண்டிய காலம் வந்துவிட்டது என்றே தோன்றுகிறது. அதிகளவிலான ஆண்கள் தங்களது மனைவிகளை எண்ணி insecure ஆக feel பண்ணுவதும் பெருகி வருகிறது. மணமுறிவுகள் மிகச் சாதாரணமாக நடக்கின்றன (don’t be shocked, நானும் ஒரு சாட்சி 😊)

‘லக்‌ஷ்மி’ மிகவும்  சாதாரணமான ஒரு கதை. அதைத் துணிவுடன் படமாக எடுத்திருப்பது தான் பாராட்டிற்குரியது. பத்து நாட்களில் ஒரு லட்சத்தைத் தாண்டியிருக்கும் user views, பல லக்‌ஷ்மிகளையும், வெளியில் சொல்லாத குற்றவுணர்வுடன் insecure ஆக feel பண்ணும் லக்‌ஷ்மிகளின் அந்தக் கணவர்களையுமே காட்டுகிறது.

எதையும் புரிந்து கொள்ளாமல், பண்பாடு, ஒழுக்கம், கற்பு, கருவாடு என்று உளறிக் கொண்டிருப்பதில் எந்தப் பயனுமில்லை. அப்படி, பண்பாடு என்பதை சரியாகப் பின்பற்றுபவர்கள் பாரதியாரின் இவ்வரியையும் நினைவில் கொள்வது நலம்.

'கற்புநிலை என்று சொல்ல வந்தால் - இருகட்சிக்கும்
அதனைப் பொதுவில் வைப்போம்'

64 comments:

Unknown said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

அருமையான பதிவு.

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

superb ma 👌👌👍

Unknown said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

:-o

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Nice acting of Laxmipriyaa. But the content is somewhat wrong as I feel. Already people are in illegal contacts. This type of movies support illegal contacts; it is not good community. (It is my opinion).

வருண் said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

How are you Subathra??

This plot reminds of me of Bridges of Madison county *ing Clint and Meryl. And Meryl's sacrifice.. lol

***எனக்குத் தெரிந்து இந்த லக்‌ஷ்மி தனியள் அல்ல. அவளைப் போன்று, கணவனும் குழந்தைகளுமே கதியென்று கிடந்து, கடைசிக் காலங்களில் தாம் கடந்து வந்த வறட்சியான வாழ்க்கையை எரிச்சலுடன் திரும்பிப் பார்க்கும், ஏகப்பட்ட complaints இருந்தும் வேறு வழியின்றி மணவாழ்வில் வலுக்கட்டாயமாகக் கட்டுண்டு கிடக்கும், கழிவிரக்கத்துடன் தனது வாழ்வைத் தியாகம் செய்வதாக எண்ணி வாழ்ந்து கொண்டிருக்கும், மணவாழ்வில் இருந்துகொண்டே soulmate தேடிக் கொண்டிருக்கும், அப்படி ஒருவன் கிடைத்தால் கூட பண்பாடு / ஒழுக்கம் / நெறிமுறைகள் போன்றவற்றுக்கு அஞ்சி, மனதாலும் உடலாலும் அவதியுறும் பல தோழிகளை நான் அறிவேன். இவர்களில் பெரும்பாலானோருக்கு, தம் உரிமைகள் மற்றும் கடமைகள் குறித்துத் தெரிவதில்லை என்பதும் உண்மை. ***


Well, there are several men sacrificing their life like this too. Your claim sounds like only women get stuck in a relationship and sacrificing everything for their family and that men are all going and finding another "soulmate" whenever they feel like??? THAT IS COMPLETELY FAULTY perception! Or you only seem to know about women and their complaints, NEVER THE OTHER SIDE??!

BTW, it is easy to make a bored (high sacrificed??) woman happy for one night or for a short term by any "fresh" man. The problem comes when you ask the SAME "great soulmate" to love her or sleep with her everyday for few DECADES just like her husband got stuck with her. Then what happens??? They both (the soulmates?) will get bored with each other too and then she should look for some "another soulmate" who can appreciate her for few days again. It goes on like that. It is as simple as that!

Life is always easy in a short term and with an uncommitted relationship. That's what we see here in your "sloppy analysis".

I am tired of hearing women and their sacrifice blaw blaw! Nobody asked anybody to sacrifice their life! They can live for themselves right from the day they are born and being an infant and toddler and teenager and during adulthood too. After all these years, complaining and crying that "I wasted my life" for someone else and that I NEVER LIVED for myself" is kind of "ticklishing" to me!

Now that she found a soulmate?

Is Lakshmi going to live with this guy, HAPPILY EVER AFTER?!! lol

NO!!!!!!!! A big NO here!!!


Thats only possible if their relationship breaks pretty soon or one of them die soon! If she gets stuck with this "wonderful one night stand guy aka soulmate" with 5,000 nights, I am sure she will get bored with this soulmate too and look for another guy who makes her feel great for one or few nights. That's what the honest TRUTH is! What we see here is Lakshmi's half-baked understanding about life!

Sorry, Subathra, I am completely against your view on this. You still think only about one side and never paid attention to "men side" except that the "one great man" (soulmate for a night?) who makes her happy.

It is a pity that women never are going to understand what is life is all about. Of course women including you and the "heroine lakshmi" who SACRIFICED everything for others and never lived for herself until she meets this "great guy"!

வருண் said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

*** எதையும் புரிந்து கொள்ளாமல், பண்பாடு, ஒழுக்கம், கற்பு, கருவாடு என்று உளறிக் கொண்டிருப்பதில் எந்தப் பயனுமில்லை. அப்படி, பண்பாடு என்பதை சரியாகப் பின்பற்றுபவர்கள் பாரதியாரின் இவ்வரியையும் நினைவில் கொள்வது நலம்.***

ஆக, பண்பாடு ஒழுக்கம், கற்பு னு பேசுறவள்(ன்) எல்லாம் உளருகிறாள்(ன்). வாழ்க்கையை பிறருக்காக (குழந்தை, அம்மா, அப்பா, அக்கா, கணவன்னு) வீணடித்தவளை, எவனாவது ஒரு நா ஓரிரவு, "நீதான் உலகிலே உயர்ந்தவள்"னு அவளுடைய வீக்னெஸ் புரிந்து புகழ்ந்தால் அவனோட அவ்விரவை செலவிடுவதுதன் சிறப்பு னு பேசுறவா எல்லாம் அறிவுஜீவிகள்??!! அடேங்கப்பா!


***'கற்புநிலை என்று சொல்ல வந்தால் - இருகட்சிக்கும்
அதனைப் பொதுவில் வைப்போம்'***

If we do, the problems solved. Is it??!!! lol

ஆக், இருந்தால் ரெண்டு அப்பாவும் அம்மாவும் ஒழுங்கா இருக்கணும். இல்லைனா ரெண்டு பேரும் (அப்பா அம்மா) நாசமாப்போகணும்?!! அப்போத்தான் குழந்தைகள் எதிர்காலம் நல்லாயிருக்கும்? ஆமா, யாருக்கா தியாகம் பண்ணணும்- என் வாழ்க்கைய?? ஒருத்தி நாசமாப் போனா அவளோட இருக்கவணும் வலுக்கட்டாயமாக நாசமாப்போக்கி, தனக்கும் முடியும் னு காட்டணும்??!!

கேக்க நல்லாத்தான் இருக்கு, realistic probability for such BOTH being good or bad "scenario" is very limited. It does not work in practice.

I think Baharathyaar hardly learned about life as he died too young! :)

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

Hi Varun,

I'm good. How are you?

//Well, there are several men sacrificing their life like this too. Your claim sounds like only women get stuck in a relationship and sacrificing everything for their family and that men are all going and finding another "soulmate" whenever they feel like??? THAT IS COMPLETELY FAULTY perception! Or you only seem to know about women and their complaints, NEVER THE OTHER SIDE??!

BTW, it is easy to make a bored (high sacrificed??) woman happy for one night or for a short term by any "fresh" man. The problem comes when you ask the SAME "great soulmate" to love her or sleep with her everyday for few DECADES just like her husband got stuck with her. Then what happens??? They both (the soulmates?) will get bored with each other too and then she should look for some "another soulmate" who can appreciate her for few days again. It goes on like that. It is as simple as that!

Life is always easy in a short term and with an uncommitted relationship. That's what we see here in your "sloppy analysis".

I am tired of hearing women and their sacrifice blaw blaw! Nobody asked anybody to sacrifice their life! They can live for themselves right from the day they are born and being an infant and toddler and teenager and during adulthood too. After all these years, complaining and crying that "I wasted my life" for someone else and that I NEVER LIVED for myself" is kind of "ticklishing" to me!

Now that she found a soulmate?

Is Lakshmi going to live with this guy, HAPPILY EVER AFTER?!! lol

NO!!!!!!!! A big NO here!!!
//

I never said all women are perfect or all men are like what I said. I am talking about the general majority of Indian women.

Actually, Lakshmi's relationship with that guy in that short film is shown as a 'one-night-stand'. Their relationship doesn't continue like what I have mentioned in my post. Sorry

I didn't say Lakshmi found her soulmate in him. Rather, many women are searching for their soulmate, I said. And I have never mentioned that this kind of relationship is the SOLUTION for the problems. I am just saying, don't complain when you have not done justice to your partner. I have here explained that women do have a vacuum inside, as they are not satisfied both physically and emotionally. Do you say this is wrong? :-)

You have agreed to, that relationship gets bored after 5000 nights. Well, that may be the case with men, as you yourself have confessed. The case is rather different with women. A woman wants to stick together with a man who UNDERSTANDS her.

It is not surprising that you don't feel guilty for taking her for granted.

And, after all she has done to you and your family, finally you spit the shit that "Nobody asked anybody to sacrifice their life!" How clever! :-)

In our society, a girl grows up hearing and seeing all her life, that she is devoted for service to her family. Service and nothing else. Because, she doesn't probably know at that point, that she and her SACRIFICES are to be ridiculed by the beneficiaries (those shit-heads who enjoyed the fruits) themselves, later. Had she known it earlier, she would have been clear in her stand right from the beginning. Thanks to the growing tradition, women are getting educated now. They grow knowing what to do and what not for others and for herself.

//It is a pity that women never are going to understand what is life is all about. Of course women including you and the "heroine lakshmi" who SACRIFICED everything for others and never lived for herself until she meets this "great guy"!//

Ha ha ha. Men, having understood what life is all about, why can't they simply understand their wives. Good joke.

Regarding those "half-baked", "sloppy analysis" etc., THANK YOU :-)



சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

//If we do, the problems solved. Is it??!!! lol
//

If you are honest in your commitment, you'll be reciprocated too.

//ஆக், இருந்தால் ரெண்டு அப்பாவும் அம்மாவும் ஒழுங்கா இருக்கணும். இல்லைனா ரெண்டு பேரும் (அப்பா அம்மா) நாசமாப்போகணும்?!! அப்போத்தான் குழந்தைகள் எதிர்காலம் நல்லாயிருக்கும்? ஆமா, யாருக்கா தியாகம் பண்ணணும்- என் வாழ்க்கைய?? ஒருத்தி நாசமாப் போனா அவளோட இருக்கவணும் வலுக்கட்டாயமாக நாசமாப்போக்கி, தனக்கும் முடியும் னு காட்டணும்??!!

கேக்க நல்லாத்தான் இருக்கு, realistic probability for such BOTH being good or bad "scenario" is very limited. It does not work in practice.
//

இரண்டு பேரும் சேர்ந்து நாசமா போகணும்னு நான் சொல்லல. இரண்டு பேரும் நாசமா போகாம இரண்டு பேரும் நல்லா இருக்கணும்னு தான் சொல்லியிருக்கேன். அது உங்களால முடியவே முடியாது போல :-)

//I think Baharathyaar hardly learned about life as he died too young! :)//

Enjoyed your joke. Good luck :-)

Ramalakshi Rajendran said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

ஆக், இருந்தால் ரெண்டு அப்பாவும் அம்மாவும் ஒழுங்கா இருக்கணும். இல்லைனா ரெண்டு பேரும் (அப்பா அம்மா) நாசமாப்போகணும்?!! அப்போத்தான் குழந்தைகள் எதிர்காலம் நல்லாயிருக்கும்? ஆமா, யாருக்கா தியாகம் பண்ணணும்- என் வாழ்க்கைய?? ஒருத்தி நாசமாப் போனா அவளோட இருக்கவணும் வலுக்கட்டாயமாக நாசமாப்போக்கி, தனக்கும் முடியும் னு காட்டணும்??!!



ஒழுங்குனா என்ன? எவ்வளவு depression, exhaustion இருந்தாலும் பொறுமையோட,சகிப்புத்தன்மையோட இருக்குறதா? Gents க்கு இந்த situation வந்தா they have many vent outs... they ll go to bar and they can hang out with their friends somewhere or alone..they ll get recharged and they will come back and continue.. பெரும்பாலான பெண்கள் இங்க செக்கு மாடு தான். Don’t ask who ask to be so? Its conditional..We didn’t accept it hearfully..We are forced to do that..

It is proven that 81% Indian women are depressed. At one particular point they cant hold the density of their exhaustion..If a woman is happy and contentful she can bring up a positive, happy and confident kids..If she holds a heavy depression how can bring a mentally healthy children? இரண்டு பேரும் ஒழுங்கா இருக்கணுமா?இல்லையா ன்றது முக்கியம் இல்லை.இரண்டு பேர்ல ஒருத்தராச்சும் cheerfulla, happya இருக்காங்களான்றது தான் முக்கியம்!!!!

மனுசங்க அவங்க அவங்க emotions, feelings க்கு உண்மையா, நேர்மையா இருந்தா போதும். Society, husband, kadavul இந்த பேர்ல லாம் யாரும் யாரையும் அடிமையாக்கவோ, பயமுறுத்தவோ வேண்டாமே!!!















சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@Kannan Sakkaraiappan

Thank u :-)

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@vidhya priya dharumalingam

Thank u ma :)

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@Abinesh Ravichandran

:-)

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@Selvaraj D

Thanks for the comment. Please read the above comments, if possible.

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@Ramalakshi Rajendran

Super Ram <3

வருண் said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

***It is proven that 81% Indian women are depressed***

Really??!!

Are you sure?!

Proven? Huh??!! By who? By American media who wants to put 81% of Indian women in drugs so that they can make a trillion dollars selling these "drug addicts" as long as they live??

"Proven" is a word which needs to be used very carefully. If I were you I would be careful using that. Please be careful when you use some "half-baked expert's" data!

***Gents க்கு இந்த situation வந்தா they have many vent outs... they ll go to bar and they can hang out with their friends somewhere or alone..they ll get recharged and they will come back and continue.. ***

Stupid men (I am not sarcastic and I mean it here) overcome their problem by drinking or smoking or hanging out with another young woman and that they are not falling "depressed category"? Is that so?!

So, now we have a solution for the problem?! Let 81% of depressed women do the SAME and they wont be depressed anymore? Right?

We have found a solution following stupid men and wee also taught them a big lesson as well. ஒரே கல்லில் ரெண்டு மாங்காய்?!

We can also use Bharathi's poem to defend our activity. Right?

The consequence will be there will be drastic increase lung cancer and alcoholics in women too. Its ok, we have found a solution too get rid of depression. That's what matters most! :)

***ஒழுங்குனா என்ன?***

Not finding a "solution" by sleeping with a "new guy" for one night stand. Is that clear now?!

Because that does not solve the problem. There are LOT of MEN are available to make a "bored woman" happy and especially make her feel great for one or few nights as the relationship is not a "committed one" or a long-term one. If you ask "the same great man" to live with her for EVER, then he will fall in the same category you are complaining about.

வருண் said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

***//I think Baharathyaar hardly learned about life as he died too young! :)//

Enjoyed your joke. Good luck :-)***

I seriously think Bharathi's wife must have been depressed as he hardly paid attention to her or her problems as he was busy paying attention to the "women world" in general!

Recently we heard, Sujatha's wife complaining about him after his death. So, let s not take it granted that Mrs Bharathi was the happiest woman in the world then.

We always overlook some women and their feelings and complaints when we praise their partners or not?? :)

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

I don't remember Sujatha writing stories on women empowerment..

'பரிவை' சே.குமார் said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

விமர்சனம் தங்கள் பார்வையில் நன்று.

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@பரிவை சே.குமார்

Thank you :-)

PV said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

//பெண்கள் இப்போது அதிகமாக இதை உணர்ந்து வருகிறார்கள். மகிழ்ச்சி தரும் செயல்கள் அனைத்தையும் குற்றவுணர்வுடன் தான் செய்ய வேண்டுமென்பதில்லை என்பதைப் புரிந்திருக்கிறார்கள்//

A sweeping statement. In the society one is a part of, one can't speak on behalf of all women. One can speak for oneself, or for one's group of friends, or could say, :As far as I've seen, women have begun to feel as I do. "

Second statement is also sweeping. Happiness is subjective. That which makes you happy may make others unhappy. Your ''women' feel happy in one-night stands. Do all women feel so? Are you sure of that?

PV said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

We live in society - both as a member of the society as well as as individuals. The society was created by a variety of factors - not in one day, or a year, or a decade, but centuries. The members of a society, like the members of a cult, tacitly agree to abide by the general norms that help the society move on. For e.g. in the society you're a part of, the marital norm is One man, One woman - or - One woman, One man. In many societies, for e.g. in Himalayan regions - the norm is - one Woman, Many men - legally. That is, all brothers in a family marry the same woman and the first brother gets priority in sex. It's a mutual acceptance. Here, it is my wish only to draw your attention to the existing different norms. So, in a society of one-man-one-woman, how is it possible or acceptable to have one-night-stand with strangers, or ''friends'' and many relationships with the opposite sex w/o the knowledge of the wedded partner?

Society has a relief mechanism also. Get divorced and seek multiple partners w/o getting married to one person. Marriage is commitment. In religion, it's a sacred covenant. The commitment enjoins upon you some conditions over your body and mind - which is roughly called, to your great annoyance, as chastity or karpu.

Is it possible for you to dismiss such considered construction called Society and throw all all commitments to it out of the window derisively dismissing it as Karuvaadu? You needn't trouble yourself. I'll reply for you:

It is possible if you detach yourself from the society sacrificing all benefits (there're many), and live like a hermit or in a commune of like-minded persons (like gypsies, drinking, drugging and bedding with any man or any woman, or even gay and lesbian relations with anyone any time !). So, life in a commune is all that you are asking for? As individual, ya, it's possible there too, provided you keep your sex life as tight secret; else, tongues will whisper and you'll be character-assassinated. And no landlord will rent a house for a woman whose sex partners for one-night-stands are mysterious to the world.

There's one question still remaining - i.e. we're talking about the short film of the fictitious character Lakshmi who had one-night-stand with a man she accidentally met with on a train and befriended, and, and then discarded him after satiating her lust (All one-night-stands are w/o commitment to the partners - that's a good point about that:-) The justifications - you've given or endorsed the ones given by the filmmaker - that she felt lonely trapped in a loveless marriage from which she wanted to free herself. What, if her husband is loving, and her children are cherubic and doting on her and she had a blissful marriage of - happiness and happiness all the way ?

Taking your justifications for one-night-stand of Lakshmi, will you say she should or should not seek sex outside her marriage in such a blissful marraige with a loving husband who values her as a person and children who lends her everyday the pleasure of being a mother ? Your reply is crucial to the argument. Please attempt.

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

Dear Vinayagam,

Your reply shows your inability to accept the truth, just like most of the men. You wish what I have told here were not true.

// Happiness is subjective. That which makes you happy may make others unhappy. Your ''women' feel happy in one-night stands. Do all women feel so? Are you sure of that?//

Of course, happiness is subjective. But, நெருப்புனா எல்லாரையும் சுடத் தான் செய்யும். No one would say, 'I'd like to fall in fire and it makes me happy.' There are such things. I've never anywhere said, all women are happy with one-night stands. This post is a small effort to tell men that women have lives for themselves too, and to make women realize that it is too late to take care of themselves first, to take care of others.

You'd be surprised if you get to know how many anonymous mails and messages from friends I've got supporting what I've written here!

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

//We live in society - both as a member of the society as well as as individuals. The society was created by a variety of factors - not in one day, or a year, or a decade, but centuries. The members of a society, like the members of a cult, tacitly agree to abide by the general norms that help the society move on.//

Are you sure all these norms were created with the consent of women? Are you sure, women followed these norms out of their choice and not of compulsion? Don't you feel it is unfair to make laws by yourself and you expect the opposite sex to follow them without questioning? If the law is the same for both men and women, why is that in our society, always a woman is blamed / criticized / abused even when the 'wrong' includes a man too?

//Society has a relief mechanism also. Get divorced and seek multiple partners w/o getting married to one person.//

What would be the condition of her children? This is easily said than done.

//Marriage is commitment.//

Of course, it is.

//In religion, it's a sacred covenant. The commitment enjoins upon you some conditions over your body and mind - which is roughly called, to your great annoyance, as chastity or karpu.//

I think 'this' annoys you more. Well, You are right and the commitment should be from both the sides. I don't know regarding mind, but I hope most of the Indian women have control over their body. If you have conditions over mind, then probably you have to go live in another planet.

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

//What, if her husband is loving, and her children are cherubic and doting on her and she had a blissful marriage of - happiness and happiness all the way ?

Taking your justifications for one-night-stand of Lakshmi, will you say she should or should not seek sex outside her marriage in such a blissful marraige with a loving husband who values her as a person and children who lends her everyday the pleasure of being a mother ? Your reply is crucial to the argument. Please attempt.//

If her husband is loving and she has a blissful marriage, there is no point that she seeks love in another person. There is no question at all here.

Marriage is a sacred thing. Women are sacred. Being a mother is sacred. கல்லானாலும் கணவன். கணவனே கண் கண்ட தெய்வம். Just tired of all those rubbishes.

My point is just, Give and Take. Otherwise, don't complain..

PV said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

//Of course, happiness is subjective. But, நெருப்புனா எல்லாரையும் சுடத் தான் செய்யும். No one would say, 'I'd like to fall in fire and it makes me happy.' There are such things. I've never anywhere said, all women are happy with one-night stands. This post is a small effort to tell men that women have lives for themselves too, and to make women realize that it is too late to take care of themselves first, to take care of others.

You'd be surprised if you get to know how many anonymous mails and messages from friends I've got supporting what I've written here!//

Either burning in fire; or living in happiness - lets not sit over semantics. We can use a common expression for both: reactions Trapped in a loveless marriage or with a cruel partner, reaction will be the same for all women the world over in the sense the victim will try an escape from that hell at any cost. This situation is not exclusive to marital lives only. It is across all spectrums of our lives of all persons. I was put in an orphanage as a child; with a cruel warden from whom I attempted escapes many times; but traced, caught and punished and thrown in a dark room but again I tried. Reaction of trapped victims is self-same anywhere in any situation. Please mind the common fact. But about the kind of reaction that concerns us here where you're vague. In a trapped marriage, escape is desirable. Does the escape mean one-night-stand with a stranger or with a man befriended on a moving train? That's the overwhelming question.

Fire burns her. She escapes to safety. Well done. Congratulations. Is the safety only the sex she lusted with a guy - a causal sex? Lest you should attempt to say it's a serious sex, he loved her and she allowed him in, Still, my question lingers: Is such sex with the other man, however fit, the only way out? Or the correct way out? Many women who commented upon the same issue online, have observed: In such situations, there are umpteen other ways.

You haven't said all women are happy in one-night-stands. Ok. But have you approved one-night-stands for a woman trapped in a loveless marriage or not? Further you had used the word Penkal. Is it a selective group or all women in general? Shouldn't you have said: ''The women I have known..."

''Many women'' have supported you w/o any serious analysis of the issue raised here. Their support may be based on the fact that they themselves are victims of loveless marriage with cruel partners. But have they said that casual sex is the way to wriggle out of it?

I am bemused.

PV said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

//Are you sure all these norms were created with the consent of women? Are you sure, women followed these norms out of their choice and not of compulsion? Don't you feel it is unfair to make laws by yourself and you expect the opposite sex to follow them without questioning? If the law is the same for both men and women, why is that in our society, always a woman is blamed / criticized / abused even when the 'wrong' includes a man too?//

Don't mistake me for a supporter of religion.

As a matter of act, in my earlier lengthy response, I added this sentence but deleted as it appeared too egoistic: I have no prejudices or predilections on this issue. I am not a religion-man (but religious).

You can go and read my comments in Ennangkal by Mrs Geeta Sambasivam and in Avargal Unmagial. All religions were created by men and the religions brought forth a culture and it naturally tends towards men. In the culture, men elaborated wove a web to keep woman as his prey. But he won't make us feel so. He is so cunning that we're not aware of his strategem and he used the name of God to frighten us. His subtlety was so acute and undercurrent that the women internalised the religious culture as if it is doing them good.

But these are things as they are going on. You can do nothing since almost all women support religion, read the culture they receive. You read my comments in Mrs Rama lakhmi's blog and you'll know how an average woman thinks about God. It is patterned. Men and women fall into patterns. But for women, it is more often that not, enslavement - the point you're referring to. Women have been samiyaarinis, but alas! within the same patterns in which average women work and live.

Examine the fictitious character Lakshmi or, why not yourself - you'll find patterns in all things except in a few things as fleeing a monster-husband or lusting after an unknown guy. In other words, you choose to be selective in your attack.

PV said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

//I think 'this' annoys you more. Well, You are right and the commitment should be from both the sides. I don't know regarding mind, but I hope most of the Indian women have control over their body. If you have conditions over mind, then probably you have to go live in another planet. //

Mind moves the body. Mental chastity is the only one concerned. Not body chastity. There's no such thing as Chastity of Body. The famous saying in the Bible goes: the flesh is weak but the spirit is willing. The Bible writer separates the two :-)

A sex worker pleases her clients w/o participating in the act. She may be a married woman with a husband at home. She pleases herself at home with her husband. Full participation in consensual sex :-) In a Balachander film, he handles this matter. A sex-worker is in the flesh trade for many decades and she has never felt loving attraction in approaching a man. Once a curious visitor comes - not for her flesh but to tell her to get out of it at once; and they become friends and love blossoms. She feels for the first time what a love with a man can be. But rejected his proposal. You can watch the film to know why.

Mind over Body. Not Body over Mind. Even a sex worker's life may teach us more than all the sages can.

PV said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

//I think 'this' annoys you more. Well, You are right and the commitment should be from both the sides. //

No Church, no Mosque, no temple, no Gurudwara, no Budh vihara - has ever said that a marriage is a sound from one hand. It is impossible. Both hands should unite to create a harmonious sound or music. (However, there are ceremonious words that cast obligations on each partner differently and that's due to the ancient life our ancestors lived as men being providers and women being homemakers)

Lets leave out sacredness taught by religion. But a commitment from both sides is the very base on which marriage is solemnized and a successful marriage is built. How does it annoy you? Pray, tell me.

You want to get married to a man and you want him to be committed to you whereas you're free to have any kind of liaison with anyone outside marriage? Is it what you're hinting at? Liberty w/o responsibility?

PV said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

//If her husband is loving and she has a blissful marriage, there is no point that she seeks love in another person. There is no question at all here.

Marriage is a sacred thing. Women are sacred. Being a mother is sacred. கல்லானாலும் கணவன். கணவனே கண் கண்ட தெய்வம். Just tired of all those rubbishes.//

I've understood you now that you are against one-night-stands of women in a happy marriage but for the same by women in an unhappy marriage. Correct? I am against one-night-stands in respect of both categories of women. My solution would be: the second category should not do anything unbeknown to her husband. If trapped in a marriage she cannot like, she can escape from it - by any method. If she is educated, she can seek legal course and to get permanently separated. Only then, she can go for a regular relationship with a man of her choice. Casual relationship for mere lust will drag her to pits because men - please note this - always look for a woman to bed her and for which, in this short film, he uses the poet's lines. Anything can be used by him. Men are lecherous in mind with other women. Therefore, a true relationship with a casual man is ruled out. In a wedded life, pretensions are impossible.

Husband-is-God? That is for followers of various religions to reply to you. I am unfit. I worship my wife as a goddess. But she does not worship me. She treats me like a doormat. Am I complaining? No. Discretion is better part of valor. I'm valorous in that sense :-)

To be serious, in marriages, as far as I have seen, it's men who are at the beck and call of their wives and the women rule them over. It's not possible for men to do things which make their wives unhappy. In case a man does, it means he heartily hates you and you've not become his wife really. Get out of his presence.

வருண் said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

***சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

I don't remember Sujatha writing stories on women empowerment..***

:))) Neither do I.

Sujatha was an MCP if you ask my honest opinion. Again that's my opinion. But people claim that he respected women a lot and treated them better than men, and that is the reason he CHOSE his WIFE NAME and transformed to "SUJATHA".

---------------

***கல்லானாலும் கணவன். கணவனே கண் கண்ட தெய்வம். Just tired of all those rubbishes. ***

I dont think anybody who has a working brain would deny that those are rubbishes! :)

Are you living in "stone ages"?

In 21st century, I hardly see women being like that. They treat the men based on how they treat them. Women treat men, the way they supposed to be treated based on what they "earned". Those "rubbishes" were existing only when women did not have financial independence. I am talking about women I know and I interact with or friends with. Not every women in the world. I am sure, women who do not have financial independence still suffer and abused by stupid men. No argument there.


On the other hand "பெண்கள் தெய்வம்", தாய் என்பவள் தெய்வத்திற்கு சமம் என்பதும் ஒரு சில தாய்களை பார்க்கும்போது "குப்பை"தான். ஏன் என்றால், நடிகை ஷோபா, நடிகை ஷகீலா, நடிகை ஶ்ரீதேவி போன்றவர்களின் தாய்மார்கள், அவர்களுக்கு தெய்வமாக இல்லை! பல தாய்கள் தன் மகள்களுக்கே எமனாக அமைந்துவிடுகிறார்கள். (சுபத்ராவைப் பொருத்தவரையில் எல்லாப் பெண்களுமே தெய்வத்திற்கு சமம்தான் :). நான் உலக நடப்பை சொல்றேன்.) BTW, you never met all the women I met. There may be a spectrum of women. So you can not put them all in a category that "all women are good" and that "all men are bastards" either. :) It is a VERY big world or not!

*** Give and Take. ***

Of course! However, in practical world, someone likes to give rather than take, because it makes her/him happy. Some others like to take more and give less, which makes them happy too. Human beings are "sinners" and "flawed" in general. So, thats why issues "pop up" between partners. There is no hard and fast rule when it comes to relationships. Women are NOT ALWAYS in the losing side. There are some POOR MEN, they are treated like trash by WOMEN too. Life is not fair for some men too. You just need to consider that part too. You seem to overlook that part as you care only about women.

Are men not depressed because of women? More men commit suicide than women. They commit suicide because they are depressed. உங்களைப் பொருத்தவரையில்., அவன் தலையெழுத்து சாகிறான். முட்டாள். அதே சூழலில் ஒரு பெண் இருந்தால், உடனே குய்யோ முறையோனு கூச்சல் போடுவீங்க.

All I am saying is one's husband is a "MAN" and her "soulmate" is also a "another MAN". Unless her soulmate is another woman (I am pro lgbt), she might find one. If she is dreaming to find a MAN as a soulmate, she is making a big mistake and she never find one in REAL LIFE! There is NO SUCH MAN in the world, trust me! You must because I know men better than you are as we all have testosterones! :)

I think I am boring. Let me stop here. :)

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

// Does the escape mean one-night-stand with a stranger or with a man befriended on a moving train? That's the overwhelming question. //

Not necessarily. Just some kind of vent out which makes her feel relieved.

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

//the only way out? Or the correct way out?//

I've never said anywhere that this is the only way out or this is the correct way..

//Many women who commented upon the same issue online, have observed: In such situations, there are umpteen other ways.//

Good.. I am happy about that

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

//But have you approved one-night-stands for a woman trapped in a loveless marriage or not?//

No one can approve/disapprove anyone's personal moves as far as it is by mutual consent.

//Further you had used the word Penkal. Is it a selective group or all women in general? Shouldn't you have said: ''The women I have known..."//

It means MOST OF THE WOMEN. Not merely those I know or see. I can understand it'd be hard for you to know many women closely. You have your limitations. I can show you a lot of surveys. But still, you'd come arguing against those!

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

//Their support may be based on the fact that they themselves are victims of loveless marriage with cruel partners. But have they said that casual sex is the way to wriggle out of it?//

It IS a fact that most of Indian women end up being victims of loveless marriages..

I can see what bothers you more, and what u cannot at any cost accept is physical relationship, even with mutual consent. I see more of it just like breach of commitment. Nothing more.

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

You can do nothing since almost all women support religion, read the culture they receive.//

Do you really think free women are against religions and against culture. Do you not really contradict yourself when you say "you can do nothing" and at the same time raise a hue about what is going on in real. Everything has a beginning.

Thanks that you approve what is followed in the cultures apparently created by men. Historians say all societies earlier were Matriarchal. I imagine what would have happened then :P

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

//Men and women fall into patterns. But for women, it is more often that not, enslavement - the point you're referring to. Women have been samiyaarinis, but alas! within the same patterns in which average women work and live.

Examine the fictitious character Lakshmi or, why not yourself - you'll find patterns in all things except in a few things as fleeing a monster-husband or lusting after an unknown guy. In other words, you choose to be selective in your attack.//

So you feel safe and secure that if everything follows patterns.

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

//Mind moves the body. Mental chastity is the only one concerned. Not body chastity. There's no such thing as Chastity of Body. The famous saying in the Bible goes: the flesh is weak but the spirit is willing. The Bible writer separates the two :-) //

This is what I'm saying too. If there is no mental chastity, then what is the point of talking about bodily thing. Can you show one man/woman in this world, who is chaste by his/her mind? I'll withdraw everything I've said here

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

//But a commitment from both sides is the very base on which marriage is solemnized and a successful marriage is built. //

I'm reiterating the same.

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

//

You want to get married to a man and you want him to be committed to you whereas you're free to have any kind of liaison with anyone outside marriage? Is it what you're hinting at? Liberty w/o responsibility?//

ROFL MAXX

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

//Casual relationship for mere lust //

Think, you've misunderstood totally. I'm Sorry

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

/because men - please note this - always look for a woman to bed her and for which, in this short film, he uses the poet's lines. Anything can be used by him.//

Women know it better. Actually in this short film, can you say 'who used whom'

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

//Men are lecherous in mind with other women. //

இப்போவாது ஒத்துக்கிட்டீங்களே. நன்றி

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

//Therefore, a true relationship with a casual man is ruled out.//

Too judgemental

//In a wedded life, pretensions are impossible.//

Oh I see :))))

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

//Husband-is-God? That is for followers of various religions to reply to you.//

Everyone of us follow one religion or the other. Is that not so

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

// I worship my wife as a goddess.//

I'd like to hear this from your wife.

Great, if true. Another Ramakrishna Paramahamsa.

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

You must because I know men better than you are as we all have testosterones! :)//

U must now understand, why I speak representing women :))

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

//Of course! However, in practical world, someone likes to give rather than take, because it makes her/him happy. Some others like to take more and give less, which makes them happy too. Human beings are "sinners" and "flawed" in general. So, thats why issues "pop up" between partners. There is no hard and fast rule when it comes to relationships. Women are NOT ALWAYS in the losing side. There are some POOR MEN, they are treated like trash by WOMEN too. Life is not fair for some men too. You just need to consider that part too. You seem to overlook that part as you care only about women.

Are men not depressed because of women? More men commit suicide than women. They commit suicide because they are depressed. உங்களைப் பொருத்தவரையில்., அவன் தலையெழுத்து சாகிறான். முட்டாள். அதே சூழலில் ஒரு பெண் இருந்தால், உடனே குய்யோ முறையோனு கூச்சல் போடுவீங்க.
//

I don't deny this. I'm talking about the vast majority...

Actually I've been in a 'women-only' group in FB, which is a secret and closed one. Only genuine women id's are added and everybody is free to express anything there. They discuss things A-Z. I came to know a lot from there, besides women surrounding me..

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

//I think I am boring. //

Too interesting :))

PV said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Response for sentence for sentence. Pleased to know you read closely. Thanks.

வருண் said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

***Actually I've been in a 'women-only' group in FB, which is a secret and closed one. Only genuine women id's are added and everybody is free to express anything there. They discuss things A-Z. I came to know a lot from there, besides women surrounding me..***

I dont pay too much attention to men problems or complaints as I dont find anything new there. The same old story again and again and again. :) IMHO, for me there is a more lot to learn from women as they are "different kind" with "estrogens".

If you are looking for finding a solution for "soul-mate seeking women" who got stuck in "loveless marriages", it is better for you guys to learn more about ignorant men. Tell the man what you like or dislike about him in a manner he understands instead of "living with a soul-mate" while physically sleeping with that moron. Then only victims of "loveless marriages" can at least find a real solution for the problems.

"One night-stand" is okay if it is an "open marriage" but if it is "cheating" then it might cause more psychological problems to the "victims" as their conscience might not go along with their hormones. Finding a "quick solution" might have serious consequences. They may end up with more depression and need more prozac or valium, or alcohol or canabinoids, I am afraid.

-------------------

I think debating about mental chastity and body chastity is important as brought it up. As you confess, there is no one is mentally chaste unless they have any "hormonal secretion" problems. Nobody argues against that.

Let us analyze this issue carefully..

Lacking Physical chastity can make a woman pregnant or man/woman HIV positive. By the way "a good soul-mate" can be HIV +ve too! When one who ends up having a physical relationship like this for "venting or getting off or whatever", might end up with more problems. Like treating HIV and how to deal with the one-night soul-mate's "baby". A condom or birth control pills do not work 100% time.It is only 99% or so. Please keep that in mind.

That does not happen when a person is NOT mentally chaste. I am not telling which is worse. I am talking about the consequences of such acts. The issues one need to deal with later "venting out" and "relieved herself". So, physical chastity is more important than mental chastity if you think about the consequences. These are my thoughts about physical and mental chaste.

I can even describe this by telling you a true story. One mother came home in an "odd time" from her office because she forgot something. She caught her husband red-handed. The father was in bed with another woman (an young maid) in their bathroom, and the mother saw everything going on there by accident (she was not spying). The psychological problems the mother went through was a LOT according to her teenage daughter whom I know personally. It affected her too. That is the consequence if one breaking the norms of physical chastity and of course getting caught.

Suppose, if the same father was just not mentally chaste, and sleeping with that woman or many other women just "mentally fantasizing" then there will not be such psychological problems for the mother. Again it is my thought. YES IGNORANCE IS BLISS.

So, I think physical chastity is more important than mental chastity because lacking the former leads to serious consequences in TODAY WORLD!

Let me get back to work. :)

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@P Vinayagam

Sorry if I've hurt you anywhere. Thanks for commenting

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

//I think debating about mental chastity and body chastity is important as brought it up. As you confess, there is no one is mentally chaste unless they have any "hormonal secretion" problems. Nobody argues against that.

Let us analyze this issue carefully..

Lacking Physical chastity can make a woman pregnant or man/woman HIV positive. By the way "a good soul-mate" can be HIV +ve too! When one who ends up having a physical relationship like this for "venting or getting off or whatever", might end up with more problems. Like treating HIV and how to deal with the one-night soul-mate's "baby". A condom or birth control pills do not work 100% time.It is only 99% or so. Please keep that in mind.//

ROTFL. சிரிச்சு முடியல

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

//I can even describe this by telling you a true story. One mother came home in an "odd time" from her office because she forgot something. She caught her husband red-handed. The father was in bed with another woman (an young maid) in their bathroom, and the mother saw everything going on there by accident (she was not spying). The psychological problems the mother went through was a LOT according to her teenage daughter whom I know personally. It affected her too. That is the consequence if one breaking the norms of physical chastity and of course getting caught.//

You mean, the father was not satisfied with his wife and so he seeks the maid to vent it out, when his daughter is present, at his home. And you think, this is what I've been explaining you so far. Ridiculous. உங்களால இவ்வளவு தான் யோசிக்க முடியும்னு தெரியுது. Feel sorry for you.

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

//Suppose, if the same father was just not mentally chaste, and sleeping with that woman or many other women just "mentally fantasizing" then there will not be such psychological problems for the mother. Again it is my thought. YES IGNORANCE IS BLISS.//

அதாவது மனசுக்குள்ள எவ்வளவு கீழ்த்தரமா கூட நினைச்சிக்கலாம். ஆனா, நிஜத்துல ஒரு கலாசார காவலரா நடிக்கணும். அப்படித் தான? குட்

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

//Mind moves the body. Mental chastity is the only one concerned. Not body chastity. There's no such thing as Chastity of Body.//

//So, I think physical chastity is more important than mental chastity because lacking the former leads to serious consequences in TODAY WORLD!//

இரண்டுக்கும் எதாவது சம்மந்தம் இருக்கா? You lack in your stand.

Hence proved. Everything. Thanks for commenting

வருண் said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

********சுபத்ரா said...

@வருண்

//Mind moves the body. Mental chastity is the only one concerned. Not body chastity. There's no such thing as Chastity of Body.//

//So, I think physical chastity is more important than mental chastity because lacking the former leads to serious consequences in TODAY WORLD!//

இரண்டுக்கும் எதாவது சம்மந்தம் இருக்கா? You lack in your stand.

Hence proved. Everything. Thanks for commenting

November 17, 2017 1:43 PM****

The first one, someone else told you which i DONT BELIEVE. The second one mine. You mixed it up. Sorry, I am not going to take this seriously. You dont know who said what.

வருண் said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

One more thing, the daughter was not home. Her mom told about her dad to her later. She says she still loves her dad.

வருண் said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

**** சுபத்ரா said...

@வருண்

//Mind moves the body. Mental chastity is the only one concerned. Not body chastity. There's no such thing as Chastity of Body.//

//So, I think physical chastity is more important than mental chastity because lacking the former leads to serious consequences in TODAY WORLD!//

இரண்டுக்கும் எதாவது சம்மந்தம் இருக்கா? You lack in your stand.

Hence proved. Everything. Thanks for commenting

November 17, 2017 1:43 PM***

You have NOT PROVED anything, Subathra! You just did not realize who said what and "jumped the gun"!

Or, I am not sure you want me to defend whatever P Vinayam stated here?? The first statement was made by Vinayagam. The second one was mine. P Vinayagam is NOT equal to Varun!

I already told you, it is impossible to have mental chastity when you challenged to show one who is mentally chaste. I agreed with you and said I dont have any argument there.

Now, I started talking about the "consequences" of "physical misconduct" vs "mental misconduct"! I tried to explain you with an example.

You find that ridiculous! That's fine.

It is not worth discussing anymore as your frequency is 10,000 nano meter and mine is 2 nano meter. We have a "perfect mismatch" here!

Anyway, take care! :)

வருண் said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Please go read the true story in this link if you want to hear this from a "woman"!

http://timeforsomelove.blogspot.com/2008/07/360-3.html

Thank you!

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

//You dont know who said what.//

Extremely sorry.

Nevertheless, physical chastity is important just because it causes consequences, you say. So, if it comes without consequences, is it right.

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

//P Vinayagam is NOT equal to Varun! //

I remember one dialogue of Aranya Kandam movie. Leave it. Tc

சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

//http://timeforsomelove.blogspot.com/2008/07/360-3.html/

இதுல இருந்து என்ன சொல்ல வர்றீங்க?

வெறும் காமத்திற்காகவும் பணத்திற்காகவும் (கல்யாண செலவு) குடும்பத்தையும் சுற்றுச்சூழலையும் பொருட்படுத்தாமல் உறவில் ஈடுபடுவதையும், லக்ஷ்மி குறும்படம் குறித்த எனது இந்தப் பதிவின் கருத்துருவையும் ஒன்றாகக் கருதுகிறீர்கள். நலம். வாழ்க.

வருண் said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

***Extremely sorry.***

First of all, it is okay. No big deal. It happens and I have made such errors in discussions. I just wanted to get credit for "only my sins", not others', thats all! :)


***Nevertheless, physical chastity is important just because it causes consequences, you say. So, if it comes without consequences, is it right.***

Did not we conclude that mentally one being "chaste" is out of the question??? All human beings are sinners, I THINK.

Read my response below (later part of this response) regarding "mental misconduct". It may be worse but never better if you look at in an "absolute sense. But in a practice it might has less serious consequences, I think. May be I am wrong

-----------------------.

***இதுல இருந்து என்ன சொல்ல வர்றீங்க?

வெறும் காமத்திற்காகவும் பணத்திற்காகவும் (கல்யாண செலவு) குடும்பத்தையும் சுற்றுச்சூழலையும் பொருட்படுத்தாமல் உறவில் ஈடுபடுவதையும், லக்ஷ்மி குறும்படம் குறித்த எனது இந்தப் பதிவின் கருத்துருவையும் ஒன்றாகக் கருதுகிறீர்கள். நலம். வாழ்க.***

You asked me a question. And you answered yourself for that question. Let me answer, please.

I am not saying anything about your perception. I am not judging you based on whether you are for or against this movie or the "message" the director delivers here. I know you- you are smart enough lead your life successfully. I know how to lead my life with less trouble too. So, we dont have to fight with each other for "someone else". :)

I was showing this true story because a husband could break partner's heart by going along with his hormonal needs. Such act can end the relationship FOR EVER. It can not be fixed as it is a fatal error. In fact, most of the women never forgive men when he "fools around" like this. . "Victimized Woman" just put up with "poor bastard" or live with him for the "sake of it". There is "no life" in their life they are living after that incident. PERIOD.

இதில் ஆண், பெண் என்ற பாகுபாடெல்லாம் கெடையாது. பாதிக்கப் பட்டவர்கள் அவர்கள் கணவரையோ/மனைவியையோ உண்மையில் மன்னிப்பது கெடையாது. "மன்னித்துவிட்டேன்" என்று ஒப்புக்கு சொல்லிவிட்டு சாகும் வரை சேர்ந்து வாழ்வதுண்டு. அதன் பிறகு, அவ்வாழ்வில் எவ்வித சுவையோ சுகமோ உண்மையில் கிடையாது. இதுதான் உண்மை நிலவரம். இதுதான் நான் இக்கதையில் இருந்து கற்றுக்கொண்டது. I am just sharing that with you! I am claiming that this is one of such serious consequences happens when one cheats on their partner.

**********************

***அதாவது மனசுக்குள்ள எவ்வளவு கீழ்த்தரமா கூட நினைச்சிக்கலாம். ஆனா, நிஜத்துல ஒரு கலாசார காவலரா நடிக்கணும். அப்படித் தான? குட்***

மனதுக்குள்ள கீழ்த்தரமா நடந்துக்கிறது சரி என்று நான் சொல்லவே இல்லை. அது உண்மையில் நடந்து கொள்வதைவிட கீழ்த்தரமான செயல்னு நான் ஏற்றுக்கொள்வேன், கொள்கிறேன். சரியா??

Did you watch the movie, "What women want?" *ing Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt? Think that one as a serious movie, you would get the picture what I am trying to "draw" here.

Take it easy.

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சுபத்ரா said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@வருண்

I'll watch that movie soon